Sunday, October 16, 2011

New Faculty Group Formed

In lieu of a Sunday cartoon, I offer the following news item.

Word has reached me that a new faculty group has been formed, Concerned Faculty for a Living Motto (CFFALM). These concerned faculty have come to the conclusion that SIUC can no longer afford a Latin motto, especially one that has degraded civility and comity on campus by allowing a disgruntled faculty blogger to mock the University President for his failure to know that the university he leads happens to have a Latin motto. To bring SIU into a new era, they have suggested that we modernize and try a cheaper language, like Spanish. To avoid having to outsource this work to an outside firm, they passed around a hat at a wiener roast, allowing them to raise the funding necessary to produce the  logo cum motto posted after the break.


S I U
Carbondale
más con menos!
 

All too predictably, this being a faculty group, a splinter group has arisen. This group deplores the insensitive, inaccurate, and demeaning claim that Spanish is a "cheap" language, and suggests Albanian instead.

S I U
Carbondale
dhe asgjë dhe çdo gjë keq! 
 

The Albanian faction, which, in the spirit of intentional management and technological innovation sweeping across campus, believes that Google Translate ought to replace archaic, fuddy-duddy, personnel-heavy, brick & mortar foreign language training here at SIUC, has used Google's nearly flawless online tool to produce the Albanian above, which they would really like to mean "Nothing Well and Everything Badly!".  One could, I suppose, confirm the accuracy of Google Translate by translating the motto back from Albanian into English--but, like, who's going to bother doing that?

As of press time, rumors of the formation of a reactionary student group, Students for An Undead Motto, cannot be confirmed, despite credible reports of students posing as zombies on campus.

16 comments:

  1. Rumor has it that a certain professor of undead languages, with a vested interest in the old motto, brainwashed the students and put them up to forming their group.

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  2. Rumor also has it that a certain President does not want Latin around to remind people that his plan to build a gold statue of himself outside the new Stadium will draw comparisons with more "august" predecessors!

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  3. lol ... while funny and humorous we need to be very careful of our rhetoric at this time everyone. Remember 2003! At the point we started wearing Wendler wigs and mustaches and yelling, "We're gonna shut this place down!" is the point we lost the PR battle.

    We need to continue to present the issues and stay on message! :-)

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  4. Someone with a sense of humorOctober 17, 2011 at 10:53 AM

    *Snicker*

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  5. Anon: 9:57. Satire is also an appropriate weapon to use. Remember THAT WAS THE WEEK THAT WAS and SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE in its early days? Also, sources have reported that the Poshard statue will be modeled on the discus thrower with a fig leaf designed not to offend local sensibilities but another part uncovered so that the FSN and their supporters can deliver their appropriate salutation.

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  6. Free Rider Association


    No, we are not a motorcycle club. We are faculty at SIUC who have enjoyed the benefits garnered by union contracts even though we do not pay union dues. We feel bad about this, we really do. Not bad enough to join, but we are offering a free meal to all Faculty Association members. It is part of our effort to rebuild civility, trust, and respect on campus.


    So, come one, come all, to Turley Park, Tuesday, October 18 from 4:30 until about 7:00 pm. You’ll be glad you did. Solidarity and collegiality forever!

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  7. Please, don't feed the trolls

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  8. How could one not? It is really "Scabs Night Out."

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  9. I bet it will be a wet and gloomy day today at Turley Park. The Faculty for Sensible Negotiations had better come armed with raincoats and umbrellas. I've heard that there's going to be great crowd (drawn by the offer of free hot dogs, no doubt--though they are more likely to be cold and damp ones, I bet!)and the shelter there is no real shelter--I've heard that it is not in good condition and it is bound to leak if it continues to rain as the weather forecasters say). Today's mass e-mail reveals who the so called sensible ones are! No surprises there!

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  10. "If you went down to Turley Park today, you wouldn't have a great surprise.
    If you went down to Turley Park today, the twenty-something group would give you a rise."
    For today's the day, the FSN had its picnic.

    Picnic time for FSN who think they will be completely safe.
    Picnic time for FSN, who believe the FA will get more furloughs soon.
    Picnic time for FSN who never think that they will lose tenure and faint in a swoon.

    And when they return home tired and ready for bed,
    Glenn and Rita will tuck them in.
    Because they're spineless and will melt like glutinous tin."

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  11. I went. The food was good. The people were friendly. I let them know I was in and supported the FA. I had a few interesting conversations. Everyone was civil.

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  12. I wonder what might be wrong with civil discourse? There are many good people in the FA, in the Administration, in the FSN. Yet we find ourselves at this impasse time and time again. It begs for other approaches. Is it possible to use our considerable intellect to work for the common good. Or do we just squish out those pigs whose ideas are different? (Sorry Georgie O.)

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  13. Quiet One, Just look at an earlier entry by a certain Faculty Senate member who used the term "piss in your pot" and you'll see where it began and who started it.

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  14. Anonymous (9:52 PM):

    The phrase was "piss in our sandbox," and it was in a post calling for greater discretion and less diatribe in the comments here.

    As I wrote earlier, the jokes write themselves.

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  15. It is still a very crude use of language and indicative of the administration's attitude to faculty as our bargaining team reported last week.

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